That I Don't Know What
Posted by Sarah McCann on Saturday, February 20, 2010 Under: Love
What is it? That je ne sais quoi. That attraction. That magnetism. That indescribable something that some people have. It is not just a physical attraction. It is something more, something deeper. Something that from within a person, draws me toward them. Something that makes me want to be near them. Something that makes me forget myself. Something that is beautiful, joyous, and magic. It is magic. It is a magic that one can feel, an electricity, a chemistry. It is something that doesn't happen often, but when it does, it cannot be ignored. It is a love song. It is a song of sorrow. It is every cliche that I can write. It is something that I would never want to live without feeling for someone, for myself. Maybe it is not the other person, maybe it is me. Maybe this feeling is something that I possess. Something constant that is just reflected in certain others with similar qualities. Like static electricity. Maybe it is the shock of bumping into a person who has also been rubbing their feet on the carpet or balloons in their hair. I recognize the acceptance of the potential for pain that is necessary for life to begin. I see my own passion, my own joy reflected in another. I want to get closer to my feelings and in order to do this want to get closer to them. This reaching, this striving, this attempt at connection. It is what happens in these actions that is important and that there is a reciprocal path between the people involved. There is no right answer for where this connection must go. If addressed honestly, this "I don't know what" will produce my deepest most meaningful relationships. It is what has begun my dearest friendships, my most intense love affairs, my most meaningful dialogues, and memorable exchanges. It is something that I know. That I have known. That I will continue to know so long as I continue to search, to inquire, to look, to try to define the indefinable. And maybe I will never have a word for exactly what it is, but so long as I feel it and know that it is real, and find others who feel it too, then it will be communicated with or without words.
In : Love
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